Caught Between Two Worlds
by Emily Beauchene
Summary: Feliks Łukasiewicz thought that becoming someone he wasn't was a hobby, that he simply had a knack for fashion and makeup. Within the span of a few months, he discovers his parents' disapproval isn't the only thing to worry about. He soon finds his love, his career, and his very life at risk. Human college AU.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Instead of one of the three fanfictions I'm meant to be updating, have this new one that I've been working on for several months now. I hope you enjoy!

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From the moment Feliks entered seventh grade, he realized he was different from all of the other boys. They played sports during lunch, and ran around until they were doubled over, gasping for breath. Feliks sat in the shade with the girls and talked celebrity gossip. The boys changed in the locker rooms for gym with no hesitation, unafraid of who they were. Feliks waited unil he was the last one in the vicinity before he even thought about removing his clothes.

The shirts Feliks' mother bought for him felt like a second, unnecessary, and disturbingly loose skin that made him feel exposed to the world. The shorts she bought exposed his legs covered with soft, downy, but very visible hair, and he felt like a freak. When she brought him shopping, Feliks found himself drawn towards the silks and the satins of the dresses the girls wore. He often caught himself staring fixatedly at the lace panties and bras set out on display tables. He cared less for sneakers and more for high heels.

The first time his voice cracked, in eighth grade, his heart hit the floor. He never wanted this moment to happen, and he had dreaded it the moment he heard about it in the school's sex ed class. The other boys cheered for him when they heard.

"You're finally growing up, Feliks!"

"Look who's _actually_ a guy!"

"This whole time we were convinced you were a girl!"

Their words stabbed at him like knives, but Feliks laughed along, accepting the smacks on his shoulders and back.

In ninth grade, Feliks feared nothing more than he feared his gym class. Not even his predestined future scared him as much as gym. Just like in middle school, every other guy was fine with changing in front of each other. Feliks, though, needed to change in private. He secured an unused shower stall, and changed there. Over the summer, he'd picked up a habit of buying and wearing women's underwear, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't break the habit.

"Are these for your girlfriend?" the man at the cash register said.

Feliks stared at the lacy underwear in front of him. He looked up at the employee. He nodded. He couldn't spit out any sort of worded response, his throat felt tight.

"I'm sure she'll love them," the employee said with a wink.

At least if he kept up the appearance, or at least the lie, of having a girlfriend, Feliks could get away with most things.

Over the summer of tenth grade, he began watching youtube videos of girls who transformed themselves into what seemed like foreign creatures with their makeup. He was amazed with what they could do with only a few colors. Then he found the videos of men who could transform themselves with makeup, too. His heart ached to be able to do that.

He couldn't buy makeup, though. As much as his parents didn't care for him, they would care the instant he did something that would tarnish or put the family name at risk.

The Łukasiewicz family was one of renown in Europe and in America. His grandfather owned several businesses, and passed them down to his son, Feliks' father. Feliks, in turn, would be passed the businesses and rise to a state of power and control. His mother, just as successful as his father, was a fashion designer. She toured Europe for most of the year, in places like London, Paris, Milan, anywhere there was a fashion hype.

Because of their busy schedules, Feliks was often left alone in their mansion of a house, left to do nothing. At least his parents transferred a hefty sum of money into his bank account every month. They cared enough to keep their son content enough with money and things so he wouldn't bother them.

However as soon as Feliks put a toe out of line, buying makeup for example, he would be ushered back into subdued obedience to his parents. They feared him being anything but their perfect child who didn't say anything, earned good grades, and claimed he strove for challenge and fulfillment in his life.

In twelfth grade, Feliks met Toris. He was a transfer student from Lithuania, and Feliks had been charged with giving him a tour of the school, since they had the exact same schedule.

"I'm, like, Feliks," he said, his stomach a bit queasy. He didn't like to admit it, but meeting new people brought out a shy side in him.

"I'm Toris, it's nice to meet you," Toris said. His voice was soft. He spoke in a way that Feliks could only describe by making chinchilla-soft into an adjective for sound.

Toris extended a hand, and Feliks took it. His skin was rough, but still warm, and his hand completely closed over Feliks'. He felt like a lost child clinging to the nearest adult for safety and comfort.

Toris was perfect. His mocha brown hair fell lightly around his shoulders, and it looked so soft _oh so soft Feliks wished he could just run his fingers through his hair_. His eyes were the most pure green color Feliks had ever seen, and just looking into them for a few seconds transported him to a warm, peaceful summer day. Toris' smile was little, and shy, but he meant it every time. Nothing about him was fake, everything about him was perfect. Feliks could barely hide from the new student the way his eyes raked over his figure.

Feliks only had to see Toris to know he was in love. Not a childish crush from elementary school, or the fake love in middle school that only lasts a week, but real love. Love that had him grinning just at the mention of Toris' name, giggling at the sound of his voice, and that had his heart pounding whenever he saw him. It was the kind of love that kept him up for three days straight rolling over and over in his bed and hiding his grinning, blushing face under his blankets.

Until the end of twelfth grade, Feliks had no idea Toris felt the same way about him. Feliks had never dreamed of something like this happening in his entire life. He always seemed to be an outcast with everyone, despite how hard he tried to fit in. He knew all the right things to say and when to say them, he stayed caught up with celebrities and all of the newest music and books. Still, he was different than everyone else.

"Feliks, I..." Toris trailed off, fiddling with the edge of his light brown sweater.

They were eating lunch together as they had done all year, but now Toris was the one doing all of the talking. Usually Feliks did that for him, he had to tell all of the useless things he learned online to _someone_.

"You can totes tell me, Toris," Feliks said. He was trying to sound calm, but really his heart was racing. Ever since he met Toris, he'd been dreaming up one million different situations of Toris confessing his feelings to him.

"I really like you," Toris said. "I like you a lot, and I'm really sorry if you don't feel the same way, I don't want to assume-"

He stopped when Feliks took his hand. The blond was staring at him intently. "Shut up about like, all that crap right now," Feliks said. His somewhat serious expression broke into his typical, wide smile. Today was different, though. It wasn't fake, it was genuine. It was so genuine it was hurting Feliks' cheeks. "I like, like you, too. You must have known that by now." Some little voice in his head was screaming at him for using such a light word as _like_. He didn't mind Toris using it though, at least now he knew the other boy felt the same about him.

Toris' whole body relaxed in immediate relief, and he took a few moments to gather himself again before giving Feliks the same sort of genuine smile. "I'm glad," he said.

At first, he and Toris were able to keep their relationship on the down low. Only a few of Toris' friends knew about it, and both of them were thankful for that. When Toris came over to Feliks' house to spend the night, they discreetly brushed and sometimes held hands under the table at dinner time, and continued about their idle small talk above the table.

Feliks' parents loved Toris, even though he wasn't well-off financially; they appreciated his intelligence and his extensive knowledge of most topics.

"You are so well educated," Feliks' father said, "I'm amazed."

Feliks' rolled his eyes, but continued smiling. His parents always made jabs at the poorer people of the world, even if they didn't really mean to.

"Thank you," Toris said. He was like Feliks in that he knew what to say, and when to say it.

Feliks' mother picked up her glass of wine and swirled it lightly in the glass as she spoke. "I'm amazed as well, however did you learn so much?"

"I've always been naturally curious," Toris said. "I was also raised by my grandparents, and they both have a lot of stories to tell. The local bookstore was always open to me, whatever time of day or whatever the weather. When we moved here, my grandparents bought me a computer, and from there I researched on my own. I've also learned a lot in school."

Feliks' parents laughed.

"All Feliks does is look up the newest Lady Beyonce news, or what have you," his mother said, her lilting laugh stabbing Feliks. His parents never laughed.

"Lady Beyonce isn't, like, a thing, mom," Feliks said. "It's either Lady Gaga or Beyonce, both queens of today's world."

His mother's laugh vanished, and she gave him a sharp look. Feliks knew when he wasn't wanted, so he clammed up.

"What are you looking to major in in college, Toris?" his father asked.

"I'm not sure yet," Toris said. "I've considered being a teacher before, so then I can help others love learning, too."

Feliks' father nodded. "A respectable career, but really, you should be looking higher. Feliks here is going to major in business and become a CEO someday!"

Toris gave Feliks a confused look, but Feliks smiled through all of it. He had yet to tell Toris the extent of how little his parents thought of him as a human being rather than the next person to take over the Łukasiewicz family businesses.

After dinner, Toris sat on Feliks' bed with Feliks leaning against him. The door was shut, but they could hear Feliks' parents talking downstairs. Toris was polite, and stayed quiet for Feliks, knowing he would talk when he wanted to. Feliks never spoke about it though, and Toris didn't bother him about it.

Instead, Feliks' busied his mouth at Toris' neck, softly biting and kissing the skin there. He slowly, carefully moved his lips upwards and closer to Toris' mouth, leaving little kisses here and there. Toris turned to reciprocate the kiss when Feliks' lips reached his own, and both of their eyes shut. Feliks ran a hand through Toris' brown hair, and he sighed, unable to get over it. His hair was chinchilla-soft like his voice, and it was amazing. Even Feliks' own hair couldn't compare.

"You have to tell me what conditioner you use," Feliks muttered as Toris broke the kiss to plant his own lips along Feliks' jawline. Toris' hands were on his shoulders, gently urging him to lay down.

Feliks complied, his heart racing so fast it was nearly causing him pain. He could barely breathe as Toris moved on top of him, knees on either side of Feliks' narrow hips. They were watching each other with equally as bright green eyes, unable to sever the eye contact. Not really knowing what he was doing, Feliks lifted a hand and placed it over Toris' heart, his was beating just as fast as Feliks'.

The movement seemed to remind them of where they were and what they were doing, and Toris leaned down. Feliks' eyes slid shut when Toris' lips were against his own again. Their mouths were opening, their tongues were softly, shyly touching, neither of them had much experience. Toris' hands were gliding under Feliks' shirt, feeling each pulse through his veins, each muscle, each bone.

The warm pads of his fingers ghosted over Feliks' nipples, and the blond gasped. Toris instantly withdrew, never wanting to make Feliks uncomfortable.

"Should I stop?" he asked.

Feliks shook his head, frantically pulling Toris back down to him. "Like, keep going," he muttered. He hadn't been blushing until then, but the 'like' snuck up on him. He felt like such an idiot for saying it during an intimate moment between them. But Toris didn't seem to notice. If he did, he didn't say anything. His hands continued their exploration beneath Feliks' shirt, and their mouths were joined once again.

"Feliks, I need to talk to you."

His door was open. There wasn't even a knock. His father was in the doorway.

It didn't take long for Toris to react, within the blink of an eye he was standing at the opposite side of the room, head bowed and hands folded behind his back. Feliks was left on his bed, still confused as to what happened. One second he was in heaven, the next he was in hell. His father seemed calm, and that scared him more than anger. Shame, guilt, and fear all coursed through him, making him want to vomit everywhere. He slowly sat up, his head turned to the floor.

"You need to leave," his father said, indicating Toris.

Toris followed the instruction, pausing at the door when Feliks' father didn't move aside for him. Very slowly, he turned to allow Toris to pass. He was gone in a flash, the front door slamming behind him.

Feliks dared to look at his father. The man was still in a state of pseudo-calm. Just as slowly as he moved aside for Toris, he moved towards Feliks. The younger Łukasiewicz bit back the bitterness and bile rising in his throat and mouth. He couldn't do anything, he was frozen like a deer in the headlights.

A hand connected with the left side of his face, and he was nearly flung off of his bed. Feliks could only see white, and his breathing was becoming ragged. Both of his ears were ringing from the impact, but he knew his father was shouting at him. Feliks didn't care to listen, he couldn't handle all of the emotions brewing in his gut. He was scared, but also angry and betrayed, he was worried only for himself, he didn't even think of Toris or how it would negatively impact his future.

Another hand connected with his face, and this time it hurt. The one before had been drowned out by shock and fear, but this one was hot like fire. He could vaguely see his mother in the doorway, but she didn't move to do anything. It actually seemed more like she was shouting at him, too.

.

Feliks' phone was ringing somewhere, but he just _couldn't find it_. He reached out blindly from his spot on the bed, groping around for the poor-quality, buzzing version of Material Girl. After only a few moments of grabbing at empty air, he sat up and rubbed at his eyes. His phone temporarily stopped ringing, but moments later it was going off again.

"Like, who needs me this early?" Feliks muttered, grabbing his phone off of the nightstand. It had been just out of his reach, as usual. The time in the uppermost center of his phone read 2:32 pm, it was nowhere near early anymore, even by his standards.

The caller ID above the answer or end options though, had his heart soaring. Within an instant he was wide awake as he swiped the answer option.

"Toris!" he cried. "Toris, I had like, the _weirdest _dream! It was about that time, y'know, like, at my old house and my dad walked in on us. We were like, so dumb! We should have known that would happen!" he burst into laughter. He could never let Toris know the event had ended with him in physical pain.

"That's nice, Feliks," Toris said, used to his boyfriend's enthusiastic greetings. "Did you only just wake up?"

"Yup!"

Toris sighed on the other end, but Feliks could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm glad you slept well."

"So like, what did you need?" Feliks asked.

"Oh, I just wanted to tell you that my grandfather's fine, he made it out of surgery okay."

"Toris, that's like, totally amazing!" he cheered.

"Mhmm, and he needs me to pick him up from the hospital and bring him home, so I'll be able to visit you," Toris said. Feliks' heart was racing. The last time he had seen Toris was when the school year started. It had been a bitter farewell, but they both knew it wasn't forever. "Make sure the house is clean, I know you've had it to yourself for the months he's been away so it's probably a mess."

Feliks looked around his room as Toris said that. Clothes and discarded water bottles were all over the floor. He knew for a fact he hadn't done the dishes in a week, and he definitely couldn't remember the last time he had taken out the trash or eaten something that hadn't started in a can or a plastic package.

"I always keep the house clean, Toris! You like, totally need to believe in me more," he said.

Feliks could practically hear Toris rolling his eyes. "We'll be there in a few hours, hopefully it's not too bad of a mess."

Feliks laughed loudly, sat up straighter and crossed his legs. "Toris, you're awful to me, assuming that I've like, let the house go to total shit. Can't like, wait to see you and your cute butt, though."

Toris laughed a bit awkwardly on the other side of the phone. "I had your call on speaker, my roommate just heard that."

"Hi roommate!"

Toris didn't know what else he was expecting from Feliks. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon!"

Feliks didn't wait for Toris to hang up before he ended the call. Already he was in a panic, he didn't know what to clean first or if he should take a shower first. Did he even need to shower? Surely he didn't smell that bad, maybe a bit like vodka, but that wasn't anything new.

He opted to go downstairs and clean everything down there first. Toris' grandfather didn't care if Toris and Feliks' room was a mess, but he certainly cared if the downstairs half of the house had even a speck of dust.

As he set to work cleaning the dishes and humming a song he'd heard on the radio the night before, he thought about his dream. It had been over a year since he had even _thought_ about his father or mother or that house or that night. He preferred to keep it that way. After the incident his parents kept him locked up in the house for as long as they could, with no contact what so ever with Toris.

They couldn't keep him forever though, and one night when his mother went to his room to announce dinner, Feliks was long gone. He escaped through the window, despite being on the second story of the house. He'd only mildly injured his right leg, but he didn't let that stop him. With only a few things in his bag, he had already made it halfway though the seven mile walk to Toris' house that he shared with his grandparents.

When the front door was opened for him, he put on his best smile for Toris. He was roped into a hug, and Toris was crying into his shoulder. Feliks lightly patted his back, laughing.

"Toris, like, I'm okay, calm down, okay?"

Toris nodded and wiped at his eyes, but he was still shaking and sniffling. Feliks continued to laugh, he never wanted Toris to know he was unhappy.

Toris' grandparents the next day asked Feliks a lot of questions, but never pressed him when he was unready or unwilling to answer something. Toris sat next to him the whole time, holding his hand. Luckily, his grandparents were kind, understanding people who were very happy to accept Feliks into their lives.

Toris had been accepted into a university on the other side of the country, and despite insisting he wanted to live on campus for the first two years, his grandfather had purchased a house just a few hours away so they would be close enough to visit, but far enough to let him enjoy his education. Feliks was invited to stay with them, and he greedily accepted. The last thing on his mind was how much he was going to cost these two kind, loving people, or how much of a burden he would become to them.

His parents could have very easily tracked him down if they had wanted to, but there was never a report of a missing boy named Feliks Łukasiewicz who had run away because of his horrible, abusive parents and their close-minded bigoted opinions.

Once they had moved though, rules were set out for Feliks.

"You will find a job," Toris' grandfather said. "I don't care what it is, but you will find a job. You will live your first four months here free, but after that I expect you to pay three hundred dollars in rent and pay for your own groceries."

Feliks nodded, paying rapt attention. He'd never been treated like an adult before, it was scary, but also very relieving. "I'll try my hardest," he said.

At first he did the usual thing of applying to places like Starbucks, or clothing stores, anywhere he would enjoy his work. It was proving to be one of the most difficult things in his life, he didn't have a college degree, and nothing about him really stood out or made a difference to employers on his resume.

He was convinced he was out of luck and should have just endured his parents, until he got a call from the local library.

"H-hello?" he asked, voice quiet.

"Hello, yes, is this Feliks... L... I'm sorry, I don't know how to pronounce your last name," the woman on the other end said.

Feliks laughed a little, but the creeping fear that he would say something stupid began to boil in his stomach. "Yes, that's me." Even just three words had him covering the speaker on his phone so he could gasp for breath.

"Great, I saw your application, we would love to have you," she said.

"Really?" he asked, hope flaring up in his chest. "Like, for real?" He bit his tongue.

The woman laughed. "Yes, for haven't had many applicants. I hope you know, as it is a library, it's a quiet job and not a lot happens."

Nothing could have ever sounded more perfect to Feliks. "When should I c-come in for an interview?"

"Oh, no need for an interview, dear, you laid yourself out very openly in your application and resume." He could have fallen over with relief. "When can you start?"

"Any time," Feliks said.

"Great, I'll see you Monday at eight am," she said. She hung up the phone, and Feliks released a shaky breath. He had never heard such good news in his life, he just had to tell someone. He glanced at the clock, Toris would still be in classes for the next two hours. His next option was to run downstairs and tell Toris' grandmother. She was a sweet old lady who didn't mind Feliks when he was shy around her, and loved him now that he as more open and comfortable with her.

"Miss Laurinaitis, guess what!" Feliks cheered as he leaped down the stairs two at a time. "I've got a job at the library!" He was all smiles and laughter.

When he found the old woman, his happiness sank, and he burst into panic. She was laying face down on the floor, and wasn't moving. His chest was pounding, and not for the first time in his life he couldn't remember how to breathe. He couldn't even remember how to think. Was he supposed to call an ambulance, or check and see if she was okay? Could he do both at the same time? He stared for at least another minute before he came to his senses and ran back upstairs to get his phone and dial for an ambulance.

The funeral was held two weeks after Feliks had found her laying on the ground. He blamed himself for not having noticed, for having been on his computer upstairs, instead of somewhere near her and available to call for help. Toris' grandfather wasn't mad at him, and told him to not be mad at himself.

"We are old," he told Feliks. "Things like this happen, you couldn't have known or have done anything different."

Still, Feliks held Toris' hand tightly in his own, refusing to cry.

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A/N: Welcome to the newest story in the college AU I have started! It is not required to read Eccentric Roommates before this one, you will understand the story fine without reading that one. I have never written for Poland before, but it has been one of the best experiences ever, and I just hope I have stayed true to his character.


	2. Chapter 2

It took Feliks an hour to load up the dishwasher, get it started, and then clean and put away the rest of the dishes that hadn't fit into the washer. By then, Toris and his grandfather would only be about ninety minutes out, which was starting to seem like not enough time at all. Feliks looked around the kitchen, looking for anything that he needed to clean in there first.

The trash was full, so he took that to the backyard to the trashbin and emptied it. Back inside again, this time in the living room, he began to clean up all of the scattered dvds and movies he watchd while he was alone. He had a tendency to just throw the cases wherever and then set the disc next to the player after he had finished the movie, and it drove Toris insane.

"It takes five seconds to put the dvd away in the case!"

"Yeah, but, like, that's five seconds I could be spending doing something else."

"You could have put the disc away while you were talking just now, Feliks."

Feliks rolled his green eyes and laughed. "You expect _me_ to multitask? Who do you think I am, Toris, some kind of like, super genius?" He laughed again.

Toris, of course, knew it was all a ruse. Feliks acted far less intelligent than he really was, even though Toris didn't know why. If he was truthful, Feliks didn't know why, either. In a way, it was easier to be made fun of and be laughed at for being the ditsy, blond, gay kid than to be held to higher expectations just because of his IQ

"Okay," Feliks muttered, looking around the room again, "dishes clean, garbage like, gone, movies totes put away..." Nothing else horribly messy stood out to him, and as far as he could tell it looked the same way it had before Feliks' grandfather had to go to the hospital.

It had happened the same way with Toris' grandmother, except that this time Feliks was there to help. He and Feliks had been watching some sort of tv show, only days after Toris had left for his second year in college, when he stood to get something from the kitchen, presumably water or something similar. He hadn't made it ten steps from the couch when he had doubled over, clutching in fear and pain at his chest. Feliks was at his side in a flash, calling an ambulance for the second time in his life.

He wasn't family, so he hadn't been allowed in the ambulance. All he could do was watch helplessly as the flashing lights and sirens tore down the street, and pull his phone out of his pocket. Again for the second time in his life, Feliks had to call Toris with bad news.

"He's collapsed...?" Toris asked, his voice breaking. Feliks didn't have to see him to know there were tears welling up in his eyes. "Will he be okay?"

"No one gave me like, a straight answer," Feliks said. "The paramedics said he probably had like, a heart attack. But I gave them your phone number, so the hospital can call you and give you all of the information."

Toris was quiet on the other end.

"What are you going to do about school?" Feliks asked.

"I'll keep going to school," Toris said. He was holding back his distress, attempting to cover it up with a small, sad laugh. "If he knew I stopped going to school just because he was in the hospital, he would have a fit. If things get worse, I'll come."

Feliks knew the topic was grim, but he tried to cheer Toris up anyways. "Like, you should totally stop worrying, Toris, he's like, as tough as nails. He's like, not going to die just because his heart decided to have like, a freak out."

Toris chuckled. Then he fell quiet again for a long time, Feliks could hear his breathing. It was a calming sound to hear, and if he closed his eyes he could imagine he was lying in bed, and Toris was only a couple of inches away, instead of being a couple hundred miles away.

"I love you, Feliks," Toris said.

"I love you, too."

Toris ended the call, and Feliks pressed the phone against his chest, helpless as ever. All he wanted to do was hold Toris close to him, and be there for him during such a horrible time, instead of sitting on the couch doing nothing.

In only sixty minutes though, he would be able to hold him. Toris would be in his arms again, and they would be together, if only for a short while. Feliks caught himself grinning, but he didn't bother to stop. It was almost like high school all over again, he could feel a squeal or at the least, a giggling fit rising in his throat.

He ran up the stairs and to his bathroom, turning on the water for the shower and waiting for it to heat up. He sang loudly as he washed his face and then stripped down, jumbling songs together as they came to his head, far too ecstatic to bother keeping the songs in order. He stripped down and hopped into the shower as the bathroom began to fog up, finally letting out the small , but excited scream that had been bubbling in his chest for quite some time.

"I get to see Toris!" he cried.

.

Feliks felt like a dog waiting for its owners to come home as it came down to about ten minutes until Toris would arrive with his grandfather. He felt sick, but also excited. He had cleaned the house, taken a shower, gotten dressed nicely, and did his daily routine of a bit of eyeliner and a light, shimmery eye shadow. His hair was dry and soft, and he no longer smelled like alcohol. He had opened the windows throughout the house to clear out any lingering smell of twenty-year-old, and lit a couple of candles.

There were nine minutes left. Each second was crawling by, as if knowing they were putting Feliks through near torture by making him wait longer than necessary. He periodically checked his phone, not wanting a message from Toris to sneak up on him in case there was traffic or something similar.

Eight minutes. His chest was starting to cause him tangible pain from his anticipation. Had Toris changed at all over the course of a few months? Certainly his grandfather must have changed, having been in a hospital all that time, with only Feliks to visit him every now and then. Feliks wasn't ashamed to admit it, he had probably been horrible company for the old man who was trying to recover.

Six minutes. Feliks was amazed, that time two minutes had passed in what seemed like the time span of one. A car door shut outside, and he was out of the front door in an instant. He didn't even check first to see if someone had pulled into their driveway, and if that person was Toris. He flung himself at the other body, who seemed quite surprised, but content all the same.

Toris wrapped his arms around Feliks and spun him around, while Feliks tried not to cry from joy. Toris was kissing all over his face, eventually coming to rest on his lips. They eagerly kissed each other, as though it had been years. Feliks' hands were on the back of Toris' head, keeping him as close as possible.

Their reunion was cut short by tapping on the window of the car, and Toris left Feliks to get his grandfather and help him inside. Feliks tailed after him like a duckling followed his mother.

"How has school been? You haven't really, like, talked to me about it much. Do you like your roommate? You said he was a blond football star, sounds like a total hottie. How's Gramps doing? You're not in any pain, are you? I know I didn't visit you last week, I was really busy with work."

"Feliks," Toris said, his usual smile on his lips, "I know you're excited, but he's very tired. Could you be quiet for a little bit?"

Feliks nodded, imitating a zipper across his mouth as he followed Toris inside, shutting the front door after them. His grandfather seemed weak, and tired like Toris said. Feliks had never had surgery, let alone heart surgery, but he could only imagine it was exhausting.

"Should I make something?" Feliks asked, trying to keep his voice down. "I'm sure you're both like, hungry."

Toris shook his head, smiling at Feliks still. "No, that's fine. He can't have much to eat or he'll get sick. I'm not very hungry."

Feliks frowned, but nodded, hanging out in the doorway to the old man's room as Toris led him to the bed and helped him lay down and get settled in.

"Remember to call if you need anything, it's silly but use your phone, you can get a hold of me quicker that way," Toris said. He pulled the comforter up to his grandfather's chin. "Call for anything, okay? Pain medicine, more or less blankets, you have to go to the bathroom, anything."

"Toris, please," his grandfather groaned, waving one hand dismissively at Toris. "Stop worrying about me. You haven't seen your boyfriend in weeks, bother him instead of me. Make sure he cleaned."

Feliks laughed, a wide grin on his face. "Of course I cleaned! This place never even got messy in the first place!"

Toris' grandfather harrumphed, adjusted himself a bit, and then closed his eyes. Toris waited a few moments until his breathing evened out, and then left the room, keeping the door just slightly ajar. Feliks' couldn't stand it anymore, and threw his arms around Toris' chest. Toris quietly laughed, gently putting his arms around his boyfriend's shoulders.

"I like, really missed you," Feliks said, burying his nose in Toris' shirt. He inhaled deeply, and closed his eyes. Toris always smelled the same, like a cool autumn day when the leaves have only just begun to fall.

A kiss was pressed to the top of his head. "I missed you, too," Toris said.

"I know you said you're not hungry but, like, I totally am. I still have food here we could eat, or I could order pizza, or we could go out to dinner!" Feliks said, his eyes lighting up at the thought of going on a proper date with Toris for the first time in a long time.

"Feliks, you know we can't leave the house while he's like this. Besides, I have to teach you how to take care of him so that way you can do it when I'm back at school," Toris said, guiding Feliks to the couch.

The shorter of the two frowned, furrowing his eyebrows. "Like, that's no fun, Toris. Besides, I totally have work! Isn't there a way to have like, some sort of nurse take care of him?"

Toris nodded, sitting down on the couch and then pulling Feliks' arm to have him sit beside him. Feliks, though, had other plans and sat down in Toris' lap, wrapping his arms around his shoulders again.

"We could," he said, "but he said he would rather be taken care of by people that he knows and trusts."

Feliks groaned, but nodded. "Fine, fine, I'll try to like, cut my hours or something. Maybe I can like, fake sick a couple of the days."

"Well, don't get yourself fired, Feliks."

"Toris, like, you don't understand. I don't have a car like you do I like, take the bus everywhere. What am I supposed to do if I'm like, at work and he calls me? I wouldn't be there for like, another hour!"

"Feliks, calm down," Toris said. He pulled Feliks closer, and softly kissed him. "Everything is going to be okay."

Feliks pursed his lips, pouting but in a playful way. "It's my job to say that to you, Toris, not the other way around. Like, wow, thought you would have known that by now," he said.

Toris quietly laughed. "Feliks, every now and then it's my job to pull you back down into reality, too."`

Feliks' usual grin was soft as Toris spoke, and the blond leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to Toris' lips. "I know, thank you," he said. "You should, like, totally shower, though." Toris raised his eyebrows at Feliks. "You like, smell like old people and hospital. It's a gross smell."

Toris sighed slowly, but gave a quiet chuckle afterwards. "It's apparently not so bad, when we hugged earlier you didn't complain then."

"Yeah, well, that was like, because you had just gotten back and I was like, excited to see you," Feliks scoffed.

Toris sighed again, and then nodded. "Alright, alright, I'll shower. Do you have enough shampoo and conditioner for me to wash my hair?"

Feliks laughed. "Who do you think you're talking to, Toris? I have enough hair supplies to stock a small mall." He got off of Toris and languidly stretched, surprised as Toris wrapped his arms around his waist, and a cold nose was pressed to the crook of his neck.

"It's nice to be back," Toris said.

Feliks quietly hummed in agreement, putting his hands over Toris' that were resting on his abdomen. Toris softly kissed the side of his neck, and then went upstairs, and a few moments later Feliks could hear the water rushing and the bathroom door closing.

He wasted ten minutes downstairs doing nothing particularly useful or important, things like checking the time, getting a small sip of water, making sure the door was locked, and other such busying tasks before he went upstairs and to his and Toris' room. He looked at the bed that had often seemed too big for just himself, glad he would finally have someone to share it with again.

Of course, it would only be for just a couple of nights, Toris was probably going to leave by the end of the weekend, but whatever Feliks got, he received appreciatively. No matter how much he considered himself worthy of all of Toris' attention at all times. As long as he got to see him every now and then it was good enough for him.

He cleaned up a bit in there, knowing Toris would probably start to cry if he saw the trash thrown about carelessly. Feliks wasn't one to keep everything cleanly and put everything in its required place after living for so long with his parents. The thought of them had him pulling his phone out of his pocket, and searching through the contacts list. He only had his mother's number saved, having deleted his father's long ago.

Her picture was still in a little bubble in the corner, and Feliks frowned at it. She hadn't smiled, or even looked at the camera when he asked to take the picture for his contacts. She continued working and ignored whatever it was he had to say. He was used to it, but that didn't mean it hurt any less each time it happened.

Without him noticing his entrance to the room, Toris suddenly had damp arms around Feliks' middle again. He was kissing the back of Feliks' neck, but all the blond could think about was how awkwardly wet his clothes were getting.

"Toris," he groaned, rolling his eyes, "like, you're getting my clothes wet. It's like, totally annoying, I hope you know."

Toris nodded, moving his hands up to softly caress Feliks' not-too-muscular, but defined chest. "Maybe you'll just have to take those clothes off," he said quietly.

Feliks couldn't stifle a giggle, raising his eyebrows and turning his head just enough to see Toris in his peripheral vision. "You're like, being super forward, Toris."

"Isn't it a nice change of pace?" he asked. Feliks nodded.

"You're doing quite a few things different today, what's the occasion?"

"No occasion," Toris said, kissing right at the base of Feliks' neck, a place he knew was very sensitive for the other. Sure enough, Feliks let out a little gasp. Toris turned him around by his shoulders, and they started kissing again, relaxed and languorous, but still with hints of passion.

Toris' tongue didn't have to prod at Feliks' lips for long before he was opening his mouth. Their movements were reserved at first, but then filled with lust and desire, striving to pull each other closer than they already were. Toris' hands tangled in the hair at the nape of Feliks' neck, and guided Feliks to their bed, neither of them fazed as they ungracefully toppled backwards.

Feliks lifted his shirt up from the hem, their mouths parting just long enough for the material to be pulled over his head. As Toris kissed him over and over again, he worked on removing his pants and underwear, silently thankful that Toris never said anything about the women's underwear. Toris' towel that had once been around his waist was long discarded, presumably somewhere along the floor with the rest of the mess.

He began to kiss down Feliks' neck and chest slowly, and ever so softly, his hands light along Feliks' sides, careful not to touch anywhere that was ticklish for him, not wanting the moment to be ruined. They hadn't been together in months, the last thing he needed was for Feliks to start laughing like a madman. Already the both of them were hard, and it was becoming hard to focus on anything else. At that point hey couldn't even remember there was an old man sleeping just ten feet below them.

Feliks looked up and was met with Toris' jade eyes, swirling with all sorts of emotions as he leaned down and kissed Feliks again. Feliks released a sharp gasp as the movement caused their erections to slide against each other, hot and smooth and damp. The sensation was like fireworks throughout Feliks, and for a brief moment he saw stars. He bucked up against Toris, rocking against his toned stomach. Toris' breath hitched, a quiet noise Feliks' ears had become trained to pick up. So much heat was pooling between them, muscles tensing and flexing.

Toris' angled his pelvis down in just the right way, pressing flush against Feliks' and moving his hips in a maddening way. Feliks was reduced to small gasps and moans. His world for those few moments revolved only around Toris. The brunet shifted smoothly onto his knees and straddled Feliks' hips, gazing into rapt green eyes.

Feliks stared back, remembering the first time they had been in such a situation, although at the time they hadn't been quite so naked or comfortable with themselves. And this time, there was no fear of being interrupted. Toris wrapped his hand around both of their erections and began to stroke them, lightly tugging. Feliks gasped, his back arching off of the bed. It had been too long since they had been together like this.

Toris leaned forward, resting his weight on his spare hand that was resting to the side of Feliks' head. His breathing was ragged and rough, and occasionally he let out a small gasp or sigh. His head hung forward, and his hair was brushing against Feliks' cheek, said blond putting a hand on the back of Toris' neck and pulling him down for another kiss as they both neared the edge. Toris' tongue sought out Feliks' in a sloppy, but passionate kiss.

"I'm close, Feliks," Toris whispered. Feliks didn't even know if he had said anything, or if it was something he was so used to that his brain made up the words for him. Either way, he nodded in response, unable to form words.

Finally, the touch he had been searching for. Finally, a warmth that wasn't his own.

He cried out as a spasm gripped his body and all of the built up pressure was suddenly released. Toris followed a few seconds after, his hand still moving, though slower now, carrying both of them through orgasm.

They both stared at each other again, panting hard and still experiencing a tremble or two as the aftershocks of release coursed through their bodies. Toris collapsed on top of Feliks loosely, nuzzling into the other's shoulder with a quiet hum. Feliks smiled and closed his eyes, running a hand through Toris' slightly damp hair.

"I have work tomorrow morning," he said quietly, "you better not like, fall asleep on top of me."

Toris groaned lightly in response, but didn't move from his spot on top of Feliks. Feliks, though, didn't complain anymore. Having the weight on top of him reminded him that Toris was really there and that the past few hours hadn't been some sort of cruel dream.

* * *

A/N: Bet you all thought I had forgotten about these since it's been since August;;; Don't worry, the other updates will be coming up shortly! Expect updates for Eccentric Roommates and To Save You by the end of next week.


	3. Chapter 3

Feliks forced himself awake with much trouble as the alarm on his phone began going off, some time around eight or nine, so he would be awake and ready in time for work at twelve. Toris was still lying on top of him, and the dead weight was far less comforting than it had been the night before when the intimacy was sweet and tender.

Groaning, he put his hands on Toris' shoulders, attempting to move him off of his chest, but he was having no such luck. Unlike Toris, Feliks didn't have a scrap of muscle on him, and in situations like this he really wished he did, even though he didn't like the bulky look on himself.

"Toris," he muttered, still too exhausted to open his eyes or actually try harder to move Toris off of him. The college student mumbled something, but didn't move. Feliks pushed at his shoulders again, trying to worm out from under his boyfriend. "Toris, get off, I have like, work."

Toris opened one eye at Feliks, just enough to see him trough his eyelashes. "Can't you just call in sick from work?" he asked.

Feliks shook his head, managing to get out from under Toris. "Like, no, Toris, I already owe your grandpa like, three months of like, rent, I can't like, miss a day of work."

Toris claimed the space where Feliks had been lying, and closed his eyes again, pulling the long-discarded blanket up to his shoulders. "Have fun at work," he said quietly.

"Toris, you like, at least need to stay awake for while I'm getting like, ready," Feliks said, standing up and going to the dresser underneath a small window, searching through his clothes that were still clean. He supposed he should probably take a shower, but it was already late enough and as long as he put on some sort of perfume he would smell fine.

Obediently, Toris rolled over onto his back and then sat up. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, watching as Feliks pulled on his underwear. Today's pair was a light mint-green-ish color with polka dots. The first time Toris had found out, he thought it was strange, to say the least, but Feliks was a strange person. _Each to their own_ he decided in the end. He had no right to judge Feliks, and even if he had a few quirks, so did everyone else in the world.

"Do you think I should wear like, a dress or a skirt today?" Feliks asked, switching between holding up a blue, flowered skirt and a simple pink dress to himself. "Hm, I could totally wear pants today, but I like, don't really feel like it..." He turned to Toris, raising an eyebrow. "Well?"

Toris snapped himself out of his spaced-out trance, and shrugged, a small smile on his face. "I think you would look good in either of those," Toris said.

Feliks grinned, and tossed aside the dress. Today seemed to be more of a blouse-and-skirt day. He dressed himself, and then went to the bathroom, laying out all of the makeup he had accumulated over the past year and a half or so. Toris was in the doorway a few minutes later, disappointingly in a pair of pants.

Feliks gave Toris and exaggerated frown as he dipped his fluffy, all-over face brush into foundation and then began to spread it evenly all over his face. "I was hoping you would be naked," he said.

When the foundation was all over his face and neck in a nice layer, he grabbed his highlight and contouring colors, and set about putting those in the correct areas all over his face. He had gotten good enough at it by then that he could slim down his whole face and give himself an even more feminine look.

"I'm surprised your boss lets you come to work all made and dressed up," Toris said.

Feliks shrugged, and began to blend in the two new colors. "She totally understands that it's a hobby of mine and that I'm not like, hurting anybody by doing it. She thinks it's totally cute actually, and like, asks me for fashion advice sometimes." He pulled a hair tie and a couple bows out of a drawer in the bathroom counter, pulling half of his hair back into a ponytail. "How does this look, Toris?"

"I think it looks cute," Toris said.

Feliks nodded, but took the ponytail out. He instead tied up a smaller ponytail to the left side of his head. "What about like, this one? Is this one okay?"

Toris nodded. "I think it looks just as good as the other one, Feliks."

Feliks groaned loudly and let his hair down. "Toris, you're like, no help at all! You always have such a neutral opinion about like, totally everything!"

"I don't know what you would look best in, and it's all up to you to decide in the end," Toris said.

Feliks resigned to pulling half of his hair back into a ponytail, and then tied a pink ribbon around it. "Like, I know."

Next was eye makeup, and he couldn't have been more proud of the Naked palette that Toris had bought for his birthday the year before. First, a darker color very carefully applied to both waterlines, then a shimmery base all over the eyelid, a light brown eyeliner, highlight along his browbones, contouring to the outer corners of his eyes, and the same light shimmer applied to the inner corners.

To Toris, it all looked like magic, how Feliks could go from looking relatively like a man to looking like a model for some magazine. To Feliks, he supposed it was all clockwork, he had been doing this for nearly a year. He always cringed watching Feliks curl his eyelashes and then apply mascara, the mascara wand always scared him.

"How do you manage to do that?" Toris asked. Feliks was now running some sort of tiny comb through his eyelashes.

"Practice," Feliks said, his mouth wide open as he applied the makeup.

Toris yawned and then leaned down to kiss Feliks' cheek. "Don't do anything embarrassing at work."

"Toris, like, I never do anything embarrassing," Feliks said with a laugh. "Get back to bed, you're acting like you've pulled like, an all nighter."

"May I get a kiss first?" Toris asked.

Feliks turned to face his boyfriend with a smile. "Yes you may," he said, and then kissed Toris.

Once Toris had gone, Feliks finished up his makeup with touch-ups to his eyebrows and cheeks, and then turned on his heel and left. He checked in on the old man as he passed his room, and smiled when he saw that he was still peacefully sleeping.

"Like, don't you two get totally crazy while I'm gone," Feliks quietly chastised. He shut the door to the old man's room, and then went to the kitchen.

He threw together his usual lunch of yesterday's leftovers, which was the remnants of a can of some sort of chili. It had been on sale at the store, and he easily divided it into two meals, so he didn't mind that it tasted like it was made using a mix of ocean and sewage.

At the door, he slipped on his favorite pair of high heels: two inches high, pink like kitten's toes, and adorned with bows. With one last glance back at the house to check for anything he might have forgotten, he had his wallet and lunch in a simple brown bag thrown over one shoulder, Feliks left to go to work.

.

Feliks knew that to most people, his work was boring and uneventful. To him, he couldn't have asked for a better job, especially during school hours. When all of the children and teenagers were at school, the library only got two to three patrons per hour.

He sat behind a desk for most of the day, but occasionally got up to shelve books or find something to read. He found that, while working at a library, he read far more than he would have otherwise. Whenever business was slower than usual, he left his chair behind the desk and went to pick a book off of the shelves.

The series he was currently reading was the _Percy Jackson_ series. Toris had already read all of the books, and was caught up with the new series. He had been appalled by the movies, and strongly insisted Feliks never watch them, despite how curious he might be.

"They're on Netflix, I know," Toris said, "but trust me. Percy has an iPhone for some reason, and really none of it is accurate to the books. They're almost as bad as the _Eragon_ movie."

Feliks had yet to read the _Ergaon _series, but it was another one of Toris' favorites. He had every single book on a shelf in their room.

"Literary masterpieces!" he claimed.

He still had a while before he could read the _Eragon_ books, though, Toris insisted he read _Harry Potter_ first. Feliks had always been intimidated by the books, especially the later ones that were the biggest books he had ever seen in his life. He couldn't imagine writing something that long, let alone read it.

His boss, Gina, was a kind lady who let Feliks do whatever he pleased. He was one of the two employees, aside from her, that worked at the library. Things were slow enough that they never had to work together, and that made the job even better for Feliks. He got nervous simply talking to children that were renewing their books.

"Hello, Feliks!" Gina said whenever he walked into the building.

He waved back with a smile at then sat down at the desk. Their interactions were generally limited to that, although occasionally Gina would ask him about Toris or if he thought her outfit looked good or if she should buy a certain pair of shoes.

Feliks always took lunch halfway through his shift, and it was a nice thirty minute break from everything when he could call or text Toris. Most of the time his lunch was right during one of Toris' classes, so it wasn't often that they got to talk, but he could still check Twitter and Tumblr and Pinterest.

That day, however, was different. Toris was at home, probably eating cookies and whatever other food Feliks hadn't eaten during the three months Toris' grandfather was at the hospital. He wasn't in class or studying like a good straight A student. Feliks whipped his phone out of his pocket, sending off five texts to Toris about how his day had gone so far and if his grandfather was okay and if Toris had found something to eat and if he wanted to pick him up from work when his shift was over.

Toris responded just how Feliks knew he would, and it set his nerves at ease. He had found food, his grandfather was doing fine, he was just tired, and yes he would pick Feliks up after his shift. The thought of seeing the brunet after work gave him the energy to continue his day with a smile brighter than the sun.

"What's got you in a good mood?" Gina asked as he returned from work. She had just finished helping a community college student renew his books.

Feliks shrugged, and sat down in his chair. A moment later, though, he was up and bouncing around again. He just couldn't sit down for the life of him. "Toris is in town," he practically squealed. "And he's coming to pick me up after work."

Gina laughed and patted Feliks' shoulder. "You'll have to introduce me to him, you've been promising you would for the past few months."

"I _know_, but he's _never_ in town! It totally sucks!" Feliks whined. "He's a great student, and so like, it occupies all of his time."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Gina asked.

"It totally is!" Feliks said. "But not when like, I want his attention. It really, totally sucks when I'm lonely and he's like, three hours away."

Gina nodded and smiled affectionately at Feliks. "I'm sure he gets lonely, too, so don't trouble yourself too much about it, alright?"

Feliks nodded, and watched as Gina walked away back to her office. Trouble himself? Feliks never troubled himself. He rarely had anything to worry about, and the biggest of his problems consisted of spending the portion of his paycheck not used for rent on coffee or clothes. He was more than grateful for an uneventful, boring life.

* * *

A/N: Ah yes, boring and uneventful for the last time this chapter. Chapter 4 will bring this story to life, I promise.


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